finally remembered my new acct.
god forever since i been hear. I almost forgot this place. it used to bring me joy now i just sorta look at it when blogger made new google setting and you had to make new adjustments to your acct guess what forgetful person forgot her information lmao yet that would be me.
Guess i better update you lmao I have been accepted into paramedic school yay go me!! so starting january i will be a very busy girl between work and school maybe just maybe i won't forget my information again and i can one day come back and update you again.
Desavou!!???
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Ah the elevator. Simple looking enough right? I mean it is one of the greatest inventions made in the 20 th century? It makes it so simple to be able to move objects from one floor to the other without having to strenuously carry heavy objects or people up and down the stairs.
I mean you stand there and wait for the elevator to make its way slowly down or up to the floor that you are on so that you may take it to the desired floor of your choice. As you wait you can hear the elevator making its way to the floor that you are on. You can here the cables moving as it pulls the weight of the elevator through the elevator shaft. You can here it as it stops on the different floors to pick up other people before it makes its way to you.
And then you hear a bell ring above the door of the elevator that you are waiting on. Letting you know automatically that it is finally there ready for you to get in. The doors open and invitingly
allows you to step through the entrance to accommodate you in your quest for the next level.
Something so simple and mechanical that has become apart of most of our everyday lives. Weather it is the building that you live in and the elevator is taking you home or a building that you work in if you live in a city instead of a small town. Or you are visiting a hospital. For the most part we all rely on an elevator at some point and time in our lives right?..... Right.
Saturday while at work I had to take a transfer to St.Francis medical center dowtown. In Monroe Louisiana. Most of you that know me already know that I work in Bastrop Louisiana. Which means I have to take an out of town transfer to a bigger hospital with better patient care I forget now why that patient had to be transferred there but that is illrelevant to my story and I am rambling...lol Any way. My partner Mark and I {which by the way Cindy is not my partner anymore she went to work at the other station that we have yay} dropped our patient off in their room and preceded to make our way to the elevators. No big deal normal procedure after leaving a patient but instead of taking the same elevators that we came up in. I wanted to take one the would come out closer to the gift shop that was in the hospital because I wanted to know if it was open. I had spotted some lighthouse collectibles that they had in there weeks back on a previous run that we had made and this time I was hoping that the shop was open because again the ones here that know me. Knows that I love lighthouse and to find them around here is hard to do so when I find one I like to get them to add to my collection of lighthouses which is hardly any...lol back to my story....We go to the elevators and there are four of them and only one of them open up and it just happens to be going our way which is down to the first floor. As we are descending I noticed that it has stopped I didn't think anything of it Mark and I are the only people in the elevator at the time and I am thinking to myself that it has stopped to allow another person to get in. As Mark and I are talking I also noticed that it is taking along time for the elevator doors to open. What the heck is going on? I looked up in the middle of our talking and notice that the light above us is showing the 3 floor but the doors are not opening. Knowing Mark and I look back at him and he has this really shit eating grin on his face. Him knowing me knows that I can't stand to be on an elevator for more than just a few seconds at a time because I am claustrophobic and depending on the size of the elevator depends on how I do on that elevator and this one is not so big. I look up at him he is still of course grinning from ear to ear with that shit eating look on his face and then he starts to bounce on his tip toes making the elevator move slightly. I ask him.
*what the fuck is going on?*
Him just looking at me grinning
* you did this didn't you?*
still staring at me not saying a word and still bouncing
* O.k Mark this is not fucking funny anymore.*
Mark.* I didn't do anything*
I noticed that the ventilation system is not working anymore . Ok the reality that I am stuck in this elevator is starting to sink in more by this time now I start to hyperventilate and pace back and fourth while gripping the rail of the stretcher. Oh God it is getting hot in here. I can't breathe.
*mark come on man stop joking around you did this right you did this make it go again* I am screaming at him by this time. He walks up beside me laughing and still bouncing up and down.
Mark.* I don't know what to tell you but I didn't do this*
I rear back and hit him in his arm the contact of my fist in his arm made a loud echo in the elevator crap I didn't mean to hit him that hard. But at that point and time I really didn't care all I wanted was to be off of that elelvator and I just knew or I was hoping that he really did make it stop but in the cold hard fact of reality he didn't do it and we really are trapped in the elevator. And he thinks that it is funny because he knows my fears . I am not seeing the humor in this not one bit. The thoughts in my head are racing as I am hyperventilating. I feel weak in the knees this is it I am going to pass out I know I am. The air in the elevator is becoming so hot and heavy that I just can't seem to be getting any air. only from a medical point of view I know that I am getting plenty of oxygen it is just that I am panicing and not trying to reason with myself.
* I don't understand that if you didn't do this how you are remaining so calm? what the hell is wrong with you we are trapped in this thing!!!!* I am really screaming at this point.
Mark * Isn't this fun?* he asked me still making fun of me
*this is just not funny anymore*
I am trying to laugh while hyperventilating I look up at the numbers again only to see that I am still stuck on the 3rd floor I don't think that It would of been so bad had it been another floor but a few weeks ago I watched a scary movie about an abandon hospital and the elevator would only go and stop on the 3rd floor no matter what button you pushed the damn thing would only take you to the 3rd floor. Imagine in my panic what I was thinking I am in a hospital trapped in an elevator that only stops on the 3rd floor!!! How Ironic is that!!! in the movie a clown pops out of no where be hind the person....this is just great. If a clown was to pop out of no where at that point and time. Mark would of been seriously injured because I would of run him over trying to make a door to get out. I was almost to the point of trying to make a door anyway. but a clown would of just set it off. Mark walks over to the buttons and starts to fiddle with them after playing with it for what seemed like forever the air ventilation system kicks back on and we start moving again. When those elevator doors open I was really hoping that no one was going to try and get on because I would of knocked them down upon exiting. Screw the stretcher and Mark when those doors opened I flew out of the elevator like my ass was on fire. If the 3rd floor wants them it can have them I am outa here. I don't want to get on an elevator again but I know that I have too because of my job. I sort of feel bad now because I cursed at mark and hit him alot Funny what a person will do when they panic. I learned that in some situation I am not as calm as I thought that I was.......lol atleast not when it comes to one of my phobia's...lol
A spider bite...please read
And you thought the brown recluse was bad!!!
Three women in North Florida, turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period,
all with the same symptoms.
Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by
muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death.
There were no outward signs of trauma.
Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Restaurant
(Olive Garden) within days of their deaths.
The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down.
The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.
The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms.
She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the
restaurant to pick up her check.
She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.
That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat. Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider.
The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined to be the
Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata),
so named because of its reddened flesh color.
This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect.
They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.
Several days later a lawyer from Jacksonville showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a
flight from Indonesia, changing planes in Singapore, before returning home. He did not visit (Olive Garden), while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock. Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from India, and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia
(Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on 4 different planes!
It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country.
So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders.
It can save your life! And please pass this on to everyone you care about.
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OK This is just great all of you that know me.... knows that my second biggest fear is spiders. Can you imagine finding one of these little creatures crawling around your HooHa....nope no thanks I think I will wet myself but you know back roads do good to......lol unless your like my friend and can't squat to pee which is halarious by the way and is another post er maybe not she would kill me....lol anyway ... when I read this I thought to myself just how often do the restrooms get cleaned???? wouldn't you think that if they got cleaned everyday and often during the day like they should be...that you wouldn't have little creepy crawlies making homes in the johns???? well I guess I can add this up to one more little thing to be afraid when using a public restroom because now instead of thinking in the back of your mind what kind of communitable diesease's are on your toilet you choose to use now you have to lift the lid to see if there are spiders under there.....And omg should a Clown pop out of the crapper I would shit myself to death right then and there!!!!!! autopsy report. cause of death...... Shitted self to death from clown popping out of crapper.....lol. Please remember to look under the seats before you sit down to enjoy your paper. Red ants came into our country because of travel and now spiders that bite you on the ass Literally and kill you have now traveled into our country. Hmmm does this fall under illegal immagrants?? {hahaha}
Subject: FW: Warning if you wax
a friend sent this to me today in my email... I really had to share it with you. It is funny as hell..
some of you may have already of seen it but for those of you who haven't enjoy......lol
All hair removal methods have tricked women with thepromises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax....
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come....home, fix dinner,... play with the kids.
I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg
(or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?... I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together.
Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!!!!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! ....... Another deep breath and RIIPP!!!!!..... Everything is swirly and spotted.
I think I may pass out........must stay conscious......Do I hear crashing drums???.....
Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the>>>>one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.
I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair????? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair should be on the strip. I touch.
I am touching wax...... CRAP!...... I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.......
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something..So I put my foot down.. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.....Vagina??? Sealed shut!... Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to>>>>figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?...... Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!.. I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe itoff, right???........ *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter -
"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,
"Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.???? So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point...... Next week I'm going to try hair color......
************************************************************************************************************************************************** Now why is this so funny to me....I know exactly what wax strip this person is talking about...I bought some of them bad boys..lol.....only unlike the person in the story I just used it on one part of my leg to see if I can handle the pain......I mean why not I have tattoo's if I can handle that then why not some itsy bitsy was strip right????......Wrong!!! those suckers hurt........ I'll be damned if I am going to put that my lady!!! I don't know how some of you women out there do it. I mean your cat must be made of steel or numb...lol...oh well it is just not worth it!! My man just gonna have to deal with stuble.....lol No Waxing for this girl!!
